Here's a couple of insights worth thousands or millions of dollars!
(Revised from earlier post)
If you have a high “I” personality you are: “people oriented, trusting, persuasive, influencing, verbal, fun loving and creative. You make things happen and are frequently a source of inspiration.”
Heres the catch… Any strength overextended is a “weakness.” You will be TOO TRUSTING and at times, you who sell others so easily will be too EASILY PERSUADED yourself.
Here's the rabbis warning – You are setting yourself up for disappointment, because people will promise you things they will NOT deliver. These will be some REALLY NICE people. True believers.
And you will have three battles you could have avoided.
STEP 1. Disappointment. You won't get paid or delivered what you failed to get in writing. The hand shake and the hugs are not in ink and people have a tendency to rewrite history in their heads.
“By some peculiar axiom in the economic universe 9 times out of 10 anything involving money will be misunderstood by the party that owes it.” (Lance Wallnau)
STEP 2. Bitterness. You will realize something went wrong and will need to forgive them.
STEP 3. The other party knows deep down they didn't do the right thing and will avoid you. Sometimes they justify avoiding you by finding faults in you recently that they never saw so clearly when they needed your help. So now IRONICALLY you've lost a relationship you could have kept IF you had trusted them LESS and guarded the connection by having a letter of understanding about what they would do and what you would do.
Especially if this is not a straight up financial transaction and involves “bartering.” Bartering is done in the currency of some sort of service you will provide that is equal to money. It could be a service from them to you or you to them. Its best to put a dollar figure on the barter so there is no misunderstanding of the currency.
LISTEN: You won't want to do step 3 because it feels untrusting. What you don't know is that failing to do so leads to another scriptural rule – “give no place to the devil.” You expose the other person to temptation if you don't get your agreement in writing.
I've made this mistake so often I decided to write it out and explain it to myself in this post.
Point- trusting people err by being too trusting. Protect untested friendships by getting things in writing. You don't need a lawyer unless its a big deal. Just grab a piece of paper and write out with them what you are doing and what they are doing and date it and sign it and make a copy. Let them keep the original and put a smily face on it next to your signature.
Thats a classic high “I” personality style contract you'll be comfortable drafting.
P.S. theres another HUGE step to add to this but this is enough jewish meddling for now.
Give us some more Jewish meddling… I want the OTHER “big step”… ???
Dr. Lance,
I trust this is true-however-I don’t like it. The statement- “give no place to the devil” makes me pause. I may need this message….
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“No good deed goes unpunished. I, at one time, being very naive, thought this was true, however, after thinking on this, if it were true we would never do anything good.
Hi Lance. Great practical advice from a High I to another.
Wow Lance – you were reading my mail…definitely a high I personality — been guilty of this too many times to remember! Thanks for putting it in writing for us! Printing it out now for myself!! 🙂
Good word, Lance, and good advice. I have wondered before why we think it’s “not trusting” to make a written contract between two parties. I think we have a good example of trusting vs. putting it down in writing. Abraham trusted God so much that it was accounted to him for righteousness. But then, Abraham asked God for “something in writing” after God told him he would inherit the promised land. Can you see God saying, “What? Now you don’t trust me?” No, God certainly was not offended at the request, for he cut a covenant with Abraham.
On time to the week for me. I knew this but needed a huge upgrade of spiritual now understanding. Thank you. I was asking these type of questions needing these type of answers the last couple weeks. So on time for me. Thank you Lord. Now follow through needed.
Powerful wisdom! Thank you for sharing such an important and necessary reminder.
As a designer and marketing consultant, I have found when dealing with family or close
personal friends in business initiatives that the “standard contract” I provide for all my
clients is mostly for the purpose of clarity. I want God to bless our initiative as we agree
and unite in one accord.
Wonderful timing as usual, my friend! Thank you for sharing this wisdom.
Yes, why didn’t someone tell me this. I’ve often felt I was a sucker for the MLM , I can’t believe how many times I’ve been approached and bought into a few, only to REGRET it after, even after we thought it was the Lord. We’ve lost thousands. I even had one Christian older man (seemed nice) ask my hubby and I to invest in his wonderful awesome new invention, and when I asked for a business plan (like most banks or lenders ask for) he seemed insulted and we never heard from him again. I get hit with Disappointment often, I actually believe prophetic words and have been disappointed many times (and please don’t say oh it’s a matter of timing, some I’ve been waiting for 30 years). I realised I have the gift of giving and make squat at yard sales, cause I give away most of it 🙂 I wonder if I’m a sucker or what, and I ask for wisdom and discernment all the time. BUT I am learing, I won’t even listen to MLM anymore and told my husband, no more going to any free dinners by these people!