Why can’t we all just get along?

3 Keys for Dealing with Family Conflict

We’ve been talking about occupying and expanding Eden within our sphere. This is the 3 day focus of our September conference in Dallas (see 7mSummit.com for details.)

Eden is the overlapping territory of your home and family with work—which overlaps with your community. For the self-employed person, your potential garden covers all spheres. If we are going to protect our destiny and our families, we MUST learn to occupy the 7 mountains of culture.  We must occupy our career territory (which is really not a career but a ministry) AND occupy our home and families with the SHALOM of God. Each day of our September Summit is dedicated to one of these: God in my Nation, God in my Business and Finance, God’s Presence in my Personal garden.

Strife and division is the devil’s currency; the serpent loosed in the garden of Nations. I want to talk to you about how to protect the supernatural anointing on your family by discerning conflicts that affect your future.

A leader of an organization I worked with discovered that at least 50% of his people were leaving the company. As we explored further, we found that this individual had issues with authority in his home, with his own father. He was reliving that family conflict with every person he encountered in the workplace.

Think about this for a second. Has it ever occurred to you that the way that a man treats his mother is typically the way he’s going to treat his wife? Do you realize that how a girl responds to the authority of her father is how she’s going to respond to the authority of her husband? We tend to carry our unresolved personal relationships in our family unit over into work relationships, business relationships, and other spheres later on. If you can’t get along with your colleagues because they remind you of a family member, you must get your mind renewed. Deal with that spirit that is trying to trigger associations with the past. How? FORGIVE! We project our family conflicts on the people that we work with in the future—never forget that.

In addition, people are not always reacting to you, they are reacting to someone in the past that they are linking to you in the present. My prayer for you right now is that the Lord will give you a discerning of spirits to see where patterns of conflict come from and where they can be stopped. May you be free from unresolved past issues (and devils) that stubbornly attempt to follow you into your present.

So, Father, I pray right now that you will help us to grab hold of every element of strife in our life—to take it captive, to interrogate it—to see if this is a relationship issue that connects to something in our personal history. Help us, Lord, to go to the forgiveness, to the freedom, and to the truth that sets us free, in Jesus’ name.

Question: What can you do this week to take that first step of faith and forgiveness, trusting that God can heal your strained relationships? Who do you need to call or reach out to today? Comment below!

As One!

Lance & Annabelle

P.S. check out 7mSummit.com for insider, early bird savings of $400 or more! The nation is at a tipping point and I keep sensing “the Spirit of Elijah” is about to start showing up.

We project our family conflicts on the people that we work with in the future—never forget that.-3

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23 thoughts on “Why can’t we all just get along?

  1. Atzheumer’s of my sister only going to get worse. She doesn’t believe in healing. I have broughtva new peacevhere. But her paranoia and violence worsens. Rammed me with wheelchair today. My niece glad I am here but she had drug charge pending and court hearing triggered sisters anxiety more. Nonpriblem with other family members at all. Most if my people keftcwhen got outside position. Company mistakes and non support made leave. Lived me. No trouble sign ups. Just wrong company.

    • Lance this is truth to the core. This has transformed my life, and continues to propel me forward in my destiny.
      Great revelation that need to be applied so we all as one can experience change in our spheres .

    • Gail, praying for supernatural peace, joy and love to flow in your family. Remember that you have authority to change the atmosphere. You do not fight against flesh and blood (or your sister) but rather the principalities and powers in this world (Ephesians 6:12). We serve a God who does what appears to be impossible. Be encouraged today for your sister.

  2. You are so right , people want to believe that’s just the way they handle things . But there is a better way to live and interact with family ,church and workplace. Here again we must turn the mirror on ourselves and ask Father God to help us. Thank you Lance for your sharing your wisdom…

  3. I just dealt with a lot of that. Inner vows and bitter root judgements. We make them when we are young and don’t realize it. Then we spend our lives reaping the fruit and don’t know why.

    Vows rob us of what God longs to give us. Judgments reap the negative fruit in our own lives. So we can look at what we can’t attain and usually find a vow. For example I was abused as a child but was under great duress to never tell or they would hurt my family. I vowed to keep it a secret. I did such a good job fulfilling that vow I was in my 30’s before the first memory came back to my consciousness. I shut out that part of my life and had almost 7 years completely inaccessible to me. No memory of anything. I vowed myself into amnesia. That’s how powerful vows are!

    An example of a judgment is my parents couldn’t afford some things I wanted to participate in in high school. We had moved across the country and things were tight. I was angry and judged them for stressing the family financially. I spent the next 30 years struggling financially and stressed over finances no matter how much money we made. Judgement are powerful too.

    I have worked through many of these over the years. I just asked the Lord to show me and He did! I’m so grateful because now I am free!

    God bless!

    • Thanks for sharing your testimony, Julie! Incredible to hear how the Lord has healed your heart and memories.

  4. Lance, I just want to thank you for the prayers you include in your letters. As a soul that is a bit lost and battle with anxiety and fear, I find your prayers extremely helpful and always look forward to receiving them. Thank you so much for that helping hand.

    • Adele, thanks for your kind and thoughtful words! Glad to hear that these posts are having an impact. Be encouraged today!

  5. My daughter in law grew up in an abusive home and I’m the scapegoat.
    How do I get untangled from her projections of her unresolved issues with her mother.
    Now I’m completely isolated from my son and grandchildren.
    My son just tries to keep peace, his passivity makes it worse. Her mistrust and suspicions keeps the accusations going.
    I know this is spiritual in nature, and my sister and husband support me but this is unjust.
    Any prayer/advice I could really use.

    • Hi there. Its really hard to be the scapegoat. I know believe me. There is a scripture tgat a well known prophet said over me as I battled in thus area with my lived one. She quoted ” tge prayer of a righteous man ( woman) availeth much and she saw tgat I was changing the atmosphere over this person who had had so much emotional pain and rejection and reaction to it. What seemed so so impossibke is now praise God being turned round. Ask tge Lord for declarations over her. Ask Him to show you also your heart. Speak truth in love. Know that its also the enemy so wanting division but begin with you before the Lord. He wants the absolute best for all in amazing relationships in their proper place so as I found that in surrender to Him trusting HIM to move and joining with Him in prayer and declaration there has been a shift. He has got me up in tge middle of the night….forgive pray declare and give Him the battle. Where we fear we control. Let His love cast out the fear and join with Him to believe and declare peace…true shalom peace and His Kingdom come in everyone involved. He knows her and what to do in her and for her fir her freedom. Faith and patience inherits The promises. It sure does. I am testerment to that truth. I have a plaque in my kitchen which reads ” trust me I know what Im doing” trust Him He knows your needs in it all too and He wants to bring wholeness to all concerned.

    • Praying for your family, Anna. Remember that the battle is not against flesh and blood (or family members) but rather the principalities and powers in this world (Ephesians 6:12). May your daughter-in-law open her heart for healing to take place. Praying for people and ministries in her life and resources, for her to have eyes to see what she needs and to say yes to the healing and forgiveness the Lord offers. May you have grace and discernment to love your family well even when the waters are rough.

  6. I love your posts about families. I posted the following about my family on Facebook and thought I would share. “The great thing about not being a perfect Mom is that all my children saw all my imperfections. … And the awesome part about that is that they have become perfect Mom’s and Dad’s. …And another awesome part about that is that they are bringing up children who are absolutely perfect. …And the “exciting” part about that is that they are my Grandchildren.

    …And another “exciting” part about that is that when everyone sees my Grandchildren, they do not know that I have not been a perfect Mom, except my children, of course.

    …And because all my Grandchildren are absolutely perfectly perfect, People say, “WOW! You have a great family.

    Now, I can quote myself and say, “I am perfect in my imperfections.”

    …And I am overjoyed that families can still love each other and forgive even when we make mistakes.

    “That’s what Jesus just told me. Hugs, hugs and “Lotsa” Love, Sylvia

    • Thanks for sharing, Sylvia! I’m thankful, too, that love and forgiveness is possible in the midst of mistakes and heartache.

  7. My Father died when I was 101/2 yrs. old. I had conflict with Men and afraid of them. Became a Christian the Father I never had became Father God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. Father asked me to write my story which I am still doing. I was 35 yrs. old when I became Born Again. It has taken till I am 68 yrs old to be set free. Father gave me His heart, to loved my children they were all around 6/7 yrs old when they received Jesus my oldest a son wanted what I received the Baptism in the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongue and He did, the others received later. Father God, was with me since I was in my mothers womb, she abandoned me in her womb. I believe in Family and Church Family. Because I choose to love, because my Father has loved me more and more I love others the more He loves on me. I have realized in all of this is I Blamed God for taking my father away. I have renounced that in Jesus name. Father God Has taught me more than Man’s ideas. I trust The Father God who is The Great I Amen Who Never Lies, Is TRUTH. I liked what you have said, Bless you may His Face Shine upon you and your Family.

    • Patricia, thanks for the note. I see that the Father has been speaking identity into you and restoring your family. Blessings on your day!

  8. Lance. Your perceotions are correct . The more Tony and I do our ministry with the Orphan Heart, unforgiveness, and Father issues the more we are witnessing the issues we carry into adulthood, business relationships and general offenses the more we see people abandoning their true identity and destiny. It is the depth of our ministering
    healing with a long term accountability You trusted us in the past, Check our site Apostle Tony and Rev Bev

  9. I would like to know why there seems to be an alarming and justified trend to sell prophetic and spiritual insights in the Name of Jesus called conferences?

    I do not mean to sound critical but how different is that from the ways of the world and its systems? Why do entrepreneurs feel obliged to develop these “products” and offer them at a price and present them at venues that are exotic and appealing to people who are hungry for direction? Surely, there are less costly (& more credible) methods to equip the saints?

    I believe at our core, we are to be set apart, peculiar, unique, even holy (belonging) unto the Lord as He is Holy. Truth is a revelation that is justified in its application! That should mean we do things different and unlike the world does especially in the marketplace!

    Our God is unique and other worldly. He has asked of us is to follow Him and portray His image to the world thus glorifying Him! Presenting Godly insight and prophetic direction in the name of getaways sounds too “corporate” for me. Just my opinion!

    Believe me this not off-topic even if you are the only one who reads it! God Bless you!

    • Perhaps it is off topic, but after watching a movie on the 2008 economic crisis and collapse, I was appalled at the level of fraud and arragonce that was prevalent among the banks and investment industry. Greed, pride and dishonesty laid waste to many innocent and misdirected individuals. The Body of Christ must not portray any semblance to any of those attitudes and attributes exhibited by those in power! God help us all!!

  10. Sometimes, I’ve learned, that some relationships are toxic. You can go thru deliverance & inner healing & be doing great but then a family member i.e. parents, siblings or children who have deep seated relational issues can come into your life & wreak havoc triggering all of this issues you thought were “fixed” & it is then, I believe, you have to take a step back & get the mind of the Lord to know whether or not you are to continue to invest or release that person to the Lord so that God can deal with them & so you can get back on track with what is healthy & not dysfunctional!

    • Lora, thanks for the comments! Discernment is definitely necessary to know the place others are to have in our life and the boundaries involved.

  11. Thank you Lance for being on target and for taking the time with God to articulate His heart. I am dealing with these topics so intensely right now so see it as an Open Heaven word. Glory to Jesus and to the Holy Spirit’s unrelenting work!
    Love you in prayers