Beware of FLASH BATTLES
There is a brief moment between an incident and a reaction. In that space you have a brief span of time, a —sacred space—to shape a choice. Fail to develop that space and “stimulus” triggers a “reaction.”
Learn to pause, step back, BREATHE, count 1,2,3, and then …hit the person directly under the chin.
No. Don’t do that. When you step back and create a moment’s space you open up other options… you move from reaction to “response.”
Anger simply “reacts” but the wise man considers what outcome he is really after. This graduates us up a level. A “response” is an intelligent reaction.
Solomon said: “A quick-tempered person does foolish things… “(Proverbs 14:17)
MIND LIKE WATER
David Allen, the “Getting Things Done” author, likens the balanced brain to the Asian concept of “mind like water.” Imagine a still lake or pond. Drop a stone onto the glassy surface and the water ripples – in exact proportion to the size of the stone. A “mind like water” has a measured and equal ripple.
Big stone – big ripple. Small pebble, small ripple.
The response should equal the importance of the issue. Water never over-reacts. Sometimes a single slight will preoccupy the mind all day.
James says….Be slow to speak. Slow to write back. Slow to text back.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”
3 THINGS TO USE IN A FLASH ATTACK
Steven Covey adds a priceless perspective to this conversation, saying that the ability to “respond” vs “react” is the result of “conscience, independent will and the power of imagination.”
Think about it. “Response” is a process of asking a few questions and seeing what comes up. It’s what James says… “Be quick to listen.”
This is a verse honoring the law of being PROACTIVE. Don’t react, pro-act.
1. Try to really hear what is being said (and not said) and why the incident is really happening. Use your INDEPENDENT WILL – and keep it independent of the pressure of the moment.
2. Use your CONSCIENCE to seek out what is the highest and best outcome for all concerned. Ask God what pleases Him. What would the ideal outcome be?
This leads to the third step… a real gift – IMAGINATION.
3. Go into the creative laboratory and envision different scenarios. What would they look like? Many, many times there is a creative solution, a creative alternative to the situation.
In my opinion, this is one of the prime manifestations of emotional intelligence or EQ.
EQ. LEVEL 1: Self awareness (for instance – noticing the anger and the desire to avenge),
E.Q. LEVEL 2 Personal Responsibility (owning your feelings and your contribution to the problem, even if there is just a small percentage.
E.Q. LEVEL 3 Add to this your personal RESPONSE- ABILITY which is in reality – your ABILITY TO RESPOND and act independent of the devil, other people or your own emotions.)
If I had sons eligible for the draft (and I do) I would want a President who was high in emotional intelligence.
WARNING — RISKY OPINION COMING —
President Putin of Russia for instance. may be a calculating former KGB agent but he does not strike me as a ruler who has sufficient space between his ego and his reactions. He is the kind of cat the devil can set up pretty quickly. Maybe this administration has underestimated our enemy. The President is on record as saying Romney was “stuck” in a “Cold War mentality” and that Russia was not a threat. This disconnect from the reality of the world we live in may well have emboldened Putin in risk-taking. Our handling of Syria probably didn’t help.
Still, I think the President is the smarter of the two in terms of handing escalation of feelings and response.
Let’s pray for him and the Ukraine situation and ask for divine wisdom and peace. There may indeed be a time for war – but this is not it.
Regarding the picture for this post – Listen to what your heart is saying BUT don’t let your emotions vote.
What thinkest thou???