Out Fruit Those Who Misunderstand You

Lance Wallnau MisunderstoodWe have all had this experience. There are certain people who have their mind’s bent in such a way that they are determined to vilify you. No matter what you do or think of doing, there is a way it can be twisted in their mind so that you still end up the bad guy. You can bless them and forgive them, but in the end that may not change them. The important thing is to not wear yourself out trying to please them. Make a decision not to spend your emotional and spiritual capital on human’s who insist on being cosmic black holes in your life. Such people are often planted by the devil to “wear out the saints.”

One characteristic of such people is unresolved anger. Year’s ago I heard the masterful Rick Renner talk about the word’s “anger” and “wrath” in the Bible. In Hebrew the word for wrath ( pronounced “chemah”) speaks of heat, poison and is often connected to the idea of a “fever.” It is like a state of mind that makes one delirious and not thinking straight. Likewise the idea behind the word (pronounced “or-gay”) in the New Testament, speaks of an excited mind reaching forth to some kind of act of vengeance. It’s as if the word “wrath” frequently speaks of a state of mind that causes you to see thing’s a certain distorted way.

Thus “The wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20) You can’t think straight when angry and you cannot make someone think straight if they are committed to hate.

To be sure, some can be won by your witness, but what I want to focus on here is making sure you don’t wear yourself down trying to win those you can’t win. The one’s the devil plants to simply mess with your head. Two minister’s were in a real cat-fight year’s ago and went to Lester Sumrall to mediate. The wise elder Lester told the younger man “you will never win the war of words with the Rev. but you can out-fruit him!” That’s good advice. If you can’t capture their good will and support…..out fruit them!


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18 thoughts on “Out Fruit Those Who Misunderstand You

  1. Thanks Lance, this helps me so much as I have a similar person who can,t forgive me for a misunderstanding and it has bothered me for a long time. Its like a nagging insect bite which itches all the time and I take this as a word from The Lord for my situation. Very helpful indeed and I shall move on with assurance.

  2. Sir, my son has been challenging me on JUST this for years!! I’m so over it!! GOD is about to open the windows of heaven over me in my business!! I’m a single parent of 3 sons!! Yes!! Daunting!! But God!! Bless you for this!! Regards, Jane

  3. I said, God, why do they misunderstand us? Why do they misunderstand Pentecost? This is what I heard.

    They say there is a purpose for everything, but really there are two purposes. Two possible purposes, one unto honor, and one unto dishonor. A sprout can grow into a mature plant, that’s growth, a divine thing that can’t happen without God. Or it can be eaten, consumed, a mundane thing. A mature plant can reproduce, that’s creation, a divine thing of God. Or it can be consumed, that’s mundane. A seed can sprout, this is resurrection, divine. Or it can remain mundane.

    The philosophy of the mundane is ever before us. We all assent to it and we even benefit from it from time to time. But the chief end of the mundane people in your life is to leave the biggest pile, the biggest possible carcass they can, for them that will come after them. In the last fleeting moments of life, that’s their ultimate satisfaction. That’s what frustrated the greatest thinkers, because it made no sense to taste the amazing divine spectacle of the universe in all it’s majesty and then just get turned over into the ground. But that’s the mundane philosophy. And these great thinkers cannot see a divine purpose in man, and you can.

    Perhaps you only understand it once it happens to you.

  4. I am having some challenges with a couple people at work… I do know that they are definitely the cosmic black hole types. I don’t think anything I try to do or say to them will change their minds about how they feel or what they believe about me… my question is, how do I “out fruit” them? What does that look like in a secular environment? I am doing my best to walk in love and also to be in integrity in my work, doing the best job I can… but is there more?

    • Cami, these people can not see a payoff in being good to you. But can you see a payoff in working with them? If you can grasp God’s purpose in bringing these people into your life, you’ll see it. But what could his purpose be?

      The presence of these people in your life is to show if your heart is perfect toward God (2 Chron. 16:9.) Do you really love your neighbor as yourself? Do you pray for them that despitefully use you? God is watching.

      The presence of you in the lives of these people is to show if they are “goats”. Recall that Jesus said that he would judge all nations at the end based on whether they had cared for his brethren (Mt. 25:40). He said that if someone did so little as bring a cup of cold water to his siblings, that person would not lose his reward (Mt. 10:42). If Jesus is your Lord, then you’re his brethren (Mt. 12:49, Heb. 2:11) and this is their opportunity.

      You might expect more from these people, but God does not necessarily do so. In fact, he has a history of disposing of them (Neh. 13:1-2, Gen. 7, 18, etc.) Does that stir any compassion for them within you? If it does, God will know it when he hears you pray for them.

      All of the other things you can be concerned with in this relationship (salary differences, differences in duties, quality of work) are temporal. They will one day pass away. Keep that well in mind.

  5. There is one person in particular who is stellar at her job, but one of the meanest people I have every worked with For years, I would try to win her over. Good morning (name) and she would reply yep. It started the conversation in a totally different way. Finally in June after six years, it hit me just as Lance has said. Something said to me don’t try to win her over just be you. So I continue to say Good morning, and I smile. All the while as professional as possible because that is me and I am practicing the fruit of the spirit. It is my witness and I am not longer concerned abut trying to get her to understand me.

  6. The Lord commanded me many years ago to always walk in LOVE – regardless. My first thoughts were “oh man” and “okaaaaaayyy.”

    I’ve always been misunderstood so I’m actually used to it by now. However in years past I would seek revenge on those who misunderstood me because I was very good at wrecking havoc on those who wrecked havoc on me. So when the Lord commanded me to always walk in Love, I knew that the days of me fighting my own battles were over.

  7. A great word from the Lord for something going on in my life. This no-win dynamic is most lethal in a love relationship where a male is needing to control and demean a female (i.e, a believer dating a non believer). I just retired from decades of Nursing … I will not spend the next few decades trapped in a relationship that dishonors believers and the Word of God. There … I said it. Thanks for the Post.