Lance Wallnau

WATCH word on the company you keep

10460175_10152569282184936_294467736982132813_nI ran into a quote saying, “your character determines the company you keep,” and that is true. But then I got to thinking about Paul's admonition…
“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.'”
(1 Cor 15:33)

At the 7mGen youth program last week a young person asked me how to categorize relationships. A great question! Who should I have as friends?
The parable of “The Good Samaritan” came to mind. Right away I realized Jesus had addressed this question when a man shot it to Him from the crowd… “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus turned it back by telling a story about a man who fell among thieves and was dying on the side of the road till the Samaritan passed by. Adding a slight dig to the religious hypocrisy of the day, Jesus had a pious Levite and Priest pass by the poor fellow and cross over to the other side of the street to avoid him. The Samaritan brought the man to a hotel and covered his expenses till he recovered. Then Jesus, ever the master teacher asked – “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers' hands?” Who was friend to the man who fell among thieves?
The one who showed mercy.
The question may not be “who should be my friend?” but rather, “how does a friend act?”
Here are three levels of RELATIONSHIP to consider:
Level #1 FRIENDSHIP. A believer's disposition should be friendly toward all. Looking for the one who needs a humane touch, a deposit of mercy. The Samaritan demonstrated he was a “friend” by how he handled someone in need.
Not all people are the same, however and you need to discern their spirits if possible. Dr. Henry Cloud suggests three categories of people in the Bible: the wise, the foolish and the evil.
Level #2. FELLOWSHIP. This is a level higher than friendship where you open up your heart and life. There is a sacred exchange that takes place at this level between hearts and souls. It is at this level that we are refreshed and sharpened, based on the company we keep.
There are many friends, fewer in fellowship and fewest in the third highest level….
Level #3 COVENANT. These are the people who rise out of fellowship to a place where you have a common bond, perhaps an assignment of some sort that ties you together. Jesus shared this level of intensity with a small group. In the crush of all three groups needing something, these people are moved to the top of your list of concerns.
If the company you keep is not moving you forward, they are most likely holding you back. Hard as it may be for some, make the decision to walk only with those who cause you to show up as your best self. These are those who accept you totally and unconditionally on one hand, and on the other, require you to live up to your star potential and confront you when you are playing small.
In any two-party relationship one person is influencing the other. Make sure you know who is influencing whom.
And I deeply appreciate that many of you allow me to enter the sacred space of a writer you read. I steward this trust carefully.
–Pruning is painful sometimes. Remove the branches (relationships) that suck away your strength.
Lance

17 thoughts on “WATCH word on the company you keep”

  1. Tanla Roundtree

    Lance,
    I appreciate the information you give out. We the Lord places these people in my life, I will know how to place each person; whether they are meant to stay or not. Greatly appreciated♡

  2. Great article Dr. Lance. I agree with all three levels wholeheartedly.
    To Michael – Your question about counting on one hand the people you can be in fellowship and covenant with. It’s a good thing to have fewer people in those relationships. I am friendly to a lot of people, and have cared for a lot of people in my 51 years, but those who I trust, confide in, and who call me out when I’m being petty and build me up when I’ve been torn down are 2-3 people. They have travelled with me for decades, and I know that they love me unconditionally and give me wise counsel. They lean on me as well, and I am a better person for having them in my life. Quality always trumps quantity.

  3. Great post, Lance. I have personally experienced the ‘pruning’ process over the last 2 years. It is not easy, but it is so necessary. Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people your spend the most time with.” I recognized that I had to change the variables so that I could go higher, be more effective, and come into the full measure of what God had for me. Thanks for keeping this in front of us.

  4. Mary Frances Joyce

    THANKS Lance; As always a good word & very timely. Unfortunately I have never had any good friends none that were really spiritual. Over 40years of being Born-again & filled with Holy Spirit, the only people that I have been SENT to were drainers, but I faithfully sowed in their lives( a lady pastor once said to me many years ago that I was God’s secret agent, having some idea of my high calling I did not like to hear this but I knew then as I know now that I AM NOT MY OWN, I AM HIS TO DO AS HE WILLS. Much, much persecution but I am a better person for it. My soon moving to Texas and aligning with Glory of Zion is my payoff. I understand now that the uniqueness of my call is why I had to be mostly rejected by the church because I needed the strength it has produced to stand for TRUTH. I have revival in me for America & this is one of the main reasons for moving there. Of course, ABSOLUTELY I STILL HAVE MUCH TO LEARN. Sincerely, Mary Frances

  5. I am glad to have found this great series and am a follower of Jesus.
    Lance, thank you for the strategies and for the vision.
    My mountain is Education. Strongholds are very evident in my day to day work.
    There are Christians who are quietly influences the lives of young people and we breaking down the concepts of Pride, Humanism, Rationalization, and Atheism.
    Our Creator is the source of all truth and power.
    I am humbled and amazed daily.
    Lord, help me to continue to develop right friendships and associates that further your Kingdom

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