Communication involves a sender and a receiver. If you are sending accurate content but the feeling is off, your message is compromised by the feeling you mixed into it. I have often sent the wrong message when in fact I am simply not paying attention to my voice and expression at the moment I sent it. An associate of mine had a broken keyboard on their blackberry and every message was in CAPS! I always felt like I was being yelled at.
This mixed messaging happens to us more than you think. For this reason, “Self Awareness” is one of the fundamental skills of the emotionally intelligent person.
Let’s go one level deeper. Apart from the relationship you have with your creator, what is the relationship that One relationship that matters most? It’s not your spouse, kids or parents. I believe the answer is – your relationship with YOURSELF! How you FEEL about you is going to affect how you treat others. They are directly affected by your state. People can “sense” when you really enjoy their company.
What’s the “feeling tone’ you are having right now with yourself? Do you secretly beat yourself up because you are overweight, alone, not making more money or stuck in some way while others seem to be racing on with life on their own terms? The relationship you have with you is the most priceless discovery a Christian can make. Why? Because most are unaware that any relationship of self to self even exists!
Ever wonder why David talks to himself? He talks to his soul like he was coaching a friend out of depression.
“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:5)
The Christian falls into an unintentional trap. A believer knows that God loves them and that forgiveness is really just a prayer away.
What Christians do not know is that this new way of life delivers us from periods of self loathing and self hatred because we are to “bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” EVERY thought, includes thought’s that don’t agree with God’s estimate of you…including the critical thoughts you feed yourself every day! You lost the right to beat yourself up when you gave your life to Christ.
What is the “feeling tone” you have with yourself right now?
You are a beloved son or daughter. God is not dealing with accepting or rejecting you – that issue is already settled. You are “accepted in the beloved.” For the rest of your life, your heavenly Father is working on your “maturity” not your “acceptance.”
Charlie Chaplain was no theologian, but he was a genius of sorts. He played a lovable tramp in all his silent films. There is something he saw in the lowliest of men that resonated with the dignity of their Creator. You may be made of dust, and shall return to dust – but there is dignity in your dust. You are not the same person you once were. You have been infused with new life and a new nature. Look how far you have come. You have made progress.
If God had His way, when you look into the mirror you would feel the feelings He has toward you. The “feeling tone” between you and yourself would resonate with dignity, not disappointment. You child of royalty, you ought to feel a deep and abiding self respect, not shame.
Oh sons and daughters of Zion, enter the tabernacle of your father David and speak to yourself, say to your soul- “why are you disturbed within me?”
“Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.”
Talk to yourself and SING! But that is a subject for another post.